Awakened
by lea michele
Summary: The Glee club put to the soundtrack of Spring Awakening.
1. Mama Who Bore Me

_Mama who bore me  
Mama who gave me  
No way to handle things  
Who made me so sad_

Rachel Berry regretted ever listening to that stupid tape. She said it was Jesse's fault, really, for putting the tape into the player, but she knew it was truly hers, for sticking around and listening to it. It was also her fault for _talking_ to Shelby, admitting that she was her daughter and setting herself up for the inevitable heartbreak. But it was much easier to put all the blame on Jesse St. James, who had not only set her up for this, but had been playing her all along. She sat in her room on a Saturday night, curled up on the bed as she stared at her walls, cluttered with playbills. That was her dream in front of her. But it hadn't worked out for her mother. Who could say it would work out for her?

_Mama, the weeping  
Mama, the angels  
No sleep in Heaven, or Bethlehem_

For the first time, Rachel began feeling doubt in the pit of her stomach. She bit her lip nervously, turning over to stare at the blank wall on the other side of her bed. She closed her eyes tightly. _I've had this dream since I was four,_ she thought. _It will happen._ Regardless of her thoughts, she closed her eyes. Shelby had said herself, "You were me." Was she doomed to follow the same fate? She closed her eyes tightly, forcing the tears back.

_Some pray that one day  
Christ will come a'-callin'  
They light a candle  
And hope that it glows  
And some just lie there  
Crying for him to come and find them  
But when he comes they don't know how to go_

"Quinn! Come down for dinner!" Judy Fabray called from the dining room. Quinn sighed, getting up from her desk and walking out of her room, smoothing her white dress as she walked down the stairs into the dining room. Since Quinn had moved back into her house, her mother had made these dinners a bit of a ritual. She light fancy candles and set up the good china, and made sure to pray before every meal. She always asked forgiveness for Quinn's mistakes, which irked Quinn the most. Judy had her own little sins and Quinn knew that, and yet she always made it seem like Quinn was the only one who could do wrong.

_Mama who bore me  
Mama who gave me  
No way to handle things  
Who made me so bad_

The only thing that made her mother bearable was Quinn's theory that it was her mother's fault she had gotten pregnant. If Judy hadn't pushed Quinn to always be perfect, to be faultless in every single way, especially physically, Quinn wouldn't have felt self-conscious about her weight, which wouldn't have led to Puck coercing her into sex by telling her she wasn't fat. If Judy had been a bit more accepting of her daughter, she wouldn't have gotten pregnant. It was as simple as that. In the back of her mind, Quinn knew it was really just her fault, but placing the blame on Judy helped Quinn bear all the things her mother said or did. A small, satisfied smirk found its way onto the blonde's lips as she picked at her peas. _It's her fault I'm so bad._

_Mama, the weeping  
Mama, the angels  
No sleep in Heaven, or Bethlehem_

Later that night, two girls who had nothing in common and yet everything lay in their beds and cried for different reasons. Rachel buried her face in her pillow, muffling the sniffles and sobs that came from losing her mother, and Quinn curled into a ball and silently wept for the loss of her daughter.


	2. All That's Known

_All that's known  
In History, in Science  
Overthrown  
At school, at home, by blind men_

Finn Hudson wasn't stupid. It may have come off as that, because he often didn't respond as quickly as he should. Most people read that as stupidity. Finn wasn't dumb, he was just distracted. His mind was elsewhere, contemplating things that were bigger than whatever his history teacher was saying. He was often chastised for not paying attention, or talking about things that weren't the subject matter. It was just that no one understood what he was thinking about. They were blind to the important things.

_You doubt them  
And soon they bark and hound you-  
Till everything you say is just another bad about you_

Finn used to ask questions all the time in class. He would raise his hand and challenge the teacher, asking questions that contrasted whatever they were trying to teach. It got to the point where the teachers saw it as a nuisance instead of something to be encouraged, and he got sent to the principal's office more than once. Eventually, Finn stopped asking questions. He quickly learned that it was better to stay quiet and ponder things in silence than bring them to the attention of the teachers.

_All they say  
Is "Trust in What is Written"  
Wars are made  
And somehow that is wisdom_

_Thought is suspect  
And money is their idol  
And nothing is okay unless it's scripted in their Bible_

When Finn asked his questions, the teachers would shut him down with a quick reply of "it is written in the books" and that was that. Finn didn't understand their logic. Nothing they spoke made sense to him. It didn't add up in his head. Everything had to be _their_ way, or no way at all. It had to be written in their books and scripted in their Bibles and agree with them or else it wasn't true.

_But I know  
There's so much more to find-  
Just in looking through myself  
And not at them_

Finn realized soon that it didn't matter what the teachers spoke. There was so much more he could learn if he kept to himself, studying things _his_ way, instead of their way. He often left his homework untouched, instead lying on his bed and thinking about things that he found interesting; problems he could fix and solutions he could invent. His grades slipped and he became distracted in class, leading people to think that Finn Hudson was stupid. He didn't listen to them, instead he continued to examine everything in his mind, taking it apart and examining every little piece.

_Still, I know  
To trust my own true mind  
And to say: there's a way through this_

His mother and teachers became increasingly angry with him, telling him that he needed to start paying attention in class or else he would fail. But Finn just couldn't bring himself to trust them and the things they spoke anymore. He kept his thoughts to himself, deciding that coming off as unintelligent was better than believing whatever they wanted him to think.

_On I go  
To wonder and to learning  
Name the stars and know their dark returning  
I'm calling  
To know the world's true yearning-  
The hunger that a child feels for everything they're shown_

Finn gave up on the schoolwork given to him, and instead delved into books hidden in the back of the library, devouring them like he devoured food. He felt like he was seven years old again and asking more questions than any one adult could handle. He was reading things that he couldn't understand at the moment, but he put them in the back of his head to digest later. He would figure everything out on his own.

_You watch me-  
Just watch me-  
I'm calling  
and one day all will know_

He dealt with the teasing and the insults, put up with all the people who called him stupid and ignorant because he knew that one day he would prove them all wrong. When he left school, he would be able to show off his knowledge in a place where it wouldn't be considered wrong. Every time one of his teachers would hand him a quiz with a disapproving look, it took everything in his power not to smirk knowingly. One day he would show them that Finn Hudson wasn't stupid. He would show them that Finn Hudson was brilliant.

_You watch me-  
Just watch me-  
I'm calling, I'm calling.  
And one day all will know_


	3. Btch of Living

"Man, this blows. I can't believe Schuester expects us to put together a song by tomorrow." Puck groaned, leaning against the piano in the auditorium.

"I think if we work hard enough we can put something together that would satisfy Mr. Schuester." Artie said, looking up.

"Yeah, but we need a song. Does anyone have any ideas?" Finn asked, glancing between Puck, Artie, Matt and Mike. They all shrugged, shaking their heads.

"Not to fear, boys, I think I have the solution to our problem. I think this song is perfect for all of us, and is simple enough for us to memorize by tomorrow." Kurt said, flouncing into the auditorium. He pulled out sheet music as he walked towards the piano.

"I swear, Hummel, if this is some lame show tune," Puck started, but Kurt stopped him with a raised hand.

"Don't worry, Noah, I'm sure you'll find this to your liking." Kurt said with a smirk, handing out the sheet music to each of them. Finn raised his eyebrows.

"The Bitch of Living?" He said, reading the name of the song off the top of the paper. Kurt nodded.

"It's from a Broadway musical that won a Tony award, so there's no reason for Mr. Schuester to complain about its credibility. Finn, you can take Moritz's part and Puck you can take Georg's part. I will take Hanschen and Ernst's part, and Matt, you can take Otto's part. Artie, you can take Melchior's. Go home and learn your parts, and we'll meet in here tomorrow morning to discuss and go over choreography, which Mike will be handling." Kurt said, smiling proudly. The other guys exchanged looks and shrugged, deciding that this was good enough for them. They parted ways and went home, the sheet music clenched tightly in each of their hands.

That night, after reading the song over and over, Puck burst into laughter. He finally got it. He couldn't believe Kurt had picked a song about _masturbation_, of all things. He shook his head, climbing into bed and closing his eyes, falling asleep.

Finn had read his part of the song over and over, committing it to memory. It hadn't exactly clicked in his head yet, but as he sang it quietly, it finally hit him. His eyes widened and he blushed profusely, shoving the sheet music into his backpack. He crawled into bed, shaking his head, trying to get rid of certain _thoughts_ about his girlfriend.

Kurt smiled at himself in the mirror as he finished his moisturizing routine. The song was perfect for all of them. It suited their lives wonderfully well. He chuckled to himself, slowly getting into his bed. He closed his eyes, images of Finn dancing in front of his eyelids.

_God, I dreamed there was an angel  
Who could hear me through the wall  
As I cried out-like, in Latin  
"This is so not life at all  
Help me out-out-of this nightmare"  
Then I heard her silver call-  
She said: "Just give it time, kid  
I come to one and all"_

In the middle of the night, all three boys woke up from different _dreams_, sweating and panting. They shot upward, different faces in their mind but the same idea floating through their heads as their hands slowly inched under the covers.

_She said: "Give me that hand, please  
And the itch you can't control  
Let me teach you how to handle  
All the sadness in your soul  
Oh, we'll work that silver magic  
Then we'll aim it at the wall"  
She said: "Love may make you blind kid-  
But I wouldn't mind at all"_

Each of them hesitated before reaching their destiny, looking up at the ceiling. Doing _this_ was something private and almost shameful, and they couldn't help the tiniest pang of guilt as their hands resumed their journeys.

_It's the bitch of living  
(Bitch, just the bitch)  
With nothing but your hand  
(Just the bitch, yeah)  
Just the bitch of living  
As someone you can't stand_

When they finished, they collapsed back onto their pillows, unknowingly breathing in sync. They rolled over, burying their faces in their pillows, the smallest bit ashamed at what they had just done, and who they had thought of while doing it.

The next day, they got together and went over the choreography, committing it to memory before going their separate ways to school. Finally, Glee club rolled around and the boys all stood on stage, their backs to the audience. The girls and Mr. Schuester sat in the first few rows, all attentive and curious as to what the boys had chosen.

The lights dimmed and the stage lights came on, and Finn turned around, starting the song. Rachel's eyes widened in recognition, and she could hardly believe her eyes. _They picked this song?_ She thought, glancing at Mr. Schuester to see what he thought of it. As the song went on, everyone's eyes began growing until they matched Rachel's. Santana began snorting and Quinn began uncontrollably giggling at not only the song, but the choreography. There was pelvic thrusting and crude gestures. It looked like someone had taken the choreography to Push It and made it ten times worse.

_See, there's showering in gym class... Bobby Maler, he's the best, looks so nasty in those khakis, God, my whole life's like some test, _Kurt sang, moving to the front of the stage. He gave a cheeky wink to the audience before turning around and flouncing to the back. The girls all laughed quietly, giggling to themselves as Mr. Schuester began to grow more uncomfortable.

_God, is this it? This can't be it! Oh God, what a bitch!_ The boys ended the song with a bang, all of them jumping in the same spot (except for Artie, who clapped his hands instead), and stomping on the stage. The girls began clapping and laughing and Mr. Schuester stood up, a skeptical look on his face.

"While that performance was very energetic, and…interesting, I have to say it was very inappropriate. Good job otherwise, guys." He said, chuckling. "Let's meet back in the choir room. Come on."


	4. My Junk

"Alright, I think we may just have to have another group number prepared just in case." Mr. Schuester started.

"What was wrong with our number, Mr. Schue?" Finn asked, glancing around with confusion.

"While it was very energetic, I don't think that the judges would approve of the language, Finn." Mr. Schuester replied. "Does anyone have any suggestions?" He didn't have to turn around to know that Rachel was waving her hand eagerly in the air.

"Yes, Rachel?" He called on her as he turned around, leaning against the piano.

"Mr. Schuester, I believe I know the perfect song for us girls to sing. It has a lighthearted message that the judges would not only find endearing but relatable, and there are enough parts for our strongest female singers to have a part each. It's from the same 2007 Broadway show Spring Awakening, like the song the boys chose. Our song is called My Junk, and I think it would be perfect for us." She said with a satisfied smile.

"I think that's a great suggestion, Rachel. I think I have the sheet music around here somewhere…" He said, turning to look on the piano.

"No need, Mr. Schuester, I already made enough copies for all of us." Rachel piped up, getting the music out of her bag and quickly distributing it to the rest of the group.

"If you don't mind, Mr. Schue, I would like to take the part of Wendla. Santana, you can have the part of Martha, Quinn you can take Anna, and Tina you can have Thea." Rachel said, turning around and looking at each of them in turn.

"What about Mercedes?" Kurt asked, glancing at Rachel with raised eyebrows and pursed lips.

"Mercedes is absent and I don't believe this song is suited for her loud yet good vocal talents." Rachel replied, turning away from Kurt to look at Mr. Schuester for approval. Mr. Schuester shrugged, as if to say that this was Rachel's idea and she had a good point.

"Whoever wants the boy parts can sing them. There are two lines each for two boys. You can sing from the audience if you wish. Girls?" Rachel said, looking up at the girls. "If you will, please follow me." She turned on her heel and began walking to the auditorium. With a glance to Artie, Tina stood up, slowly following her. Quinn and Santana shrugged, getting up and following as well. The entire Glee club got up and walked into the auditorium, wondering how this was going to work.

They sat in the audience in the first few rows, watching the stage. The lights slowly rose and the four girls stood on stage, their backs to the audience. By the power of Rachel Berry, they had managed to get costumes on, simple dresses that looked like they belonged in the 1800s. The music began playing, and the audience lights dimmed.

_In the midst of this nothing, this miss of a life, still there's this one thing just to see you go by,_ Rachel sang, turning around and walking forward from her place on the outer left. Her eyes flickered over the audience, lighting up when she saw Finn.

_It's almost like loving, sad as that is, _Santana sang, turning and walking from her place on the outer right. She looked out into the audience, making eye contact with Brittany and smiling slightly, giving everyone a glimpse into the inner mind of Santana Lopez.

_May not be cool, but it's so where I live,_ Tina started to sing, turning and walking from her place on the inner left, standing next to Rachel on center stage.

_It's like I'm your lover or more like your ghost, I spend the day wondering what you do, where you go, _Quinn sang, walking from her place on the inner right, taking her spot next to Santana. Her eyes glanced over the audience, smiling slightly when she made eye contact with Puck.

_I try and just kick it but then what can I do? We've all got our junk, and my junk is you,_ Tina sang, smiling brightly at Artie. He blushed from the audience, grinning shyly at her.

_See us, winter walking after a storm, it's chill in the wind but it's warm in your arms, we stop all snow blind, may not be true, we've all got our junk, and my junk is you, _the girls sang in unison, skipping around stage in circles around each other, like a weaving pattern. Mr. Schuester raised his eyebrows in surprise. Rachel had managed to teach them choreography.

_Well, you'll have to excuse me; I know it's so off, I love when you do stuff that's rude and so wrong_,Puck stood up in the audience, singing loud enough for the girls to hear him on stage. Quinn flashed him a thankful grin, and Puck smiled back, shrugging his shoulders as if to say _I've got your back._

_I go up to my room, turn the stereo on, shoot up some you in the you of some song,_ Finn sang standing up. Rachel turned around, smiling brightly at him. He grinned back, giving her a small two-fingered salute. Rachel and Santana skipped to the edge of the stage, sitting next to each other and letting their legs dangle over the edge.

_I lie back just drifting and play out these scenes, I ride on the rush all the hopes all the dreams, _Tina sang, walking forward and sitting on the outside of Rachel.

_I may be neglecting the things I should do, we've all got our junk, and my junk is you, _Quinn sang, taking her seat next to Santana.

_See we still keep talking after you're gone, you still with me then feels so good in my arms, they say you go blind, maybe it's true, we've all got our junk, and my junk is you, _they sang, Puck and Finn joining in as well.

_It's like we stop time. What can I do? We've all got our junk, and my junk is you. My junk is you, my junk is you, you, you, you!_ They finished, the girls linking arms and grinning widely. The lights came back on and the rest of the Glee club began clapping, amazed once again. Rachel smiled proudly, looking at Mr. Schuester for his opinion.

"I think we may have found something for Sectionals!" He exclaimed, and the girls squealed with excitement, clapping their hands together excitedly. "Wonderful job girls, guys. Get changed and we'll meet back up in the choir room."


	5. The Dark I Know Well

_There is a part I can't tell  
about the dark I know well_

Santana Lopez wasn't afraid of many things. She wasn't afraid of catty girls, and she wasn't afraid of rude boys, and she wasn't afraid of getting into a fistfight, but Santana was afraid of the dark. It might have seemed childish and silly to anyone who she might have told – not that she would have ever told anyone – but Santana had her reasons. She kept the secret not only because it would ruin her reputation if people found out, but she would have to explain why she was afraid of the dark, which was so much worse.

_You say, "Time for bed now child,"  
Mom just smiles that smile  
Just like she never saw me  
Just like she never saw me_

"Bedtime, Santana." The two simple words had been a source of sweaty palms and racing hearts for the Latina girl since she was fourteen. Whenever her father spoke them – or rather, slurred them – she knew something was about to happen. She would look at her mother for support, but Mrs. Lopez was a quiet and timid woman, and often smiled like nothing was wrong, and looked away from her daughter, leaving her to fend for herself.

_So, I leave, wanting to hide  
Knowing deep inside  
You are coming to me  
You are coming to me_

Santana would get up reluctantly, going into her bedroom and getting into her pajamas, crawling into her bed with feelings of dread, burying her face in her pillows and hoping that maybe tonight would be different, that maybe tonight she would be alone. It wouldn't be, she knew that in the back of her mind. It hadn't been that way when she was fourteen, or fifteen, and not now that she was sixteen, either.

_You say all you want is just a kiss goodnight  
And then you hold me and you whisper,  
"Child, the Lord won't mind.  
It's just you and me.  
Child, you're a beauty_

"Santana? Are you asleep, sweetheart?" Her father's voice came from the doorway, and she knew it was useless to lie. It always had been.

"Not yet." She mumbled weakly, not looking up from her pillow. She felt the bed shift when he took a seat on the edge, and she closed her eyes tightly. She moved all her feelings to her head. It was much easier to bear when she was in her head, and not in her body.

"Just a goodnight kiss, Santana, my _nina linda._ Come on, turn around." He reached around, his arm slipping over her waist and turning her around. Her eyes opened but stared dully over his head, knowing what was coming next. He slipped under the covers with her and his other arm found its way around her waist, sliding lower until it rested on her upper thighs.

"_God, it's good – the lovin' – ain't it good tonight?  
You ain't seen nothing yet – gonna treat you right.  
It's just you and me  
Child you're a beauty."_

He leaned in and whispered in her ear, "I'll treat you good, Santana." His breath reeked of alcohol, and it took everything in Santana's power not to wrinkle her nose. It only got worse when she made him upset. His hands began moving as he started to murmur, "Pretty child, my pretty child." Santana closed her eyes, slipping away into other thoughts, trying to forget what it was like to feel.

The next day, Mr. Schuester asked them to prepare a song from a musical that they could consider for an opening solo.

"I expect one from each and every one of you. Got it?" Everyone nodded, most of them mumbling something about how it wouldn't matter because Rachel would get the lead anyway. Santana grabbed her bag, slinging it over her shoulder.

"Santana! I'd like to let you know about a song that I think would be perfect for your vocal range." Santana glanced over at Rachel, her gaze nothing short of scathing.

"I don't want your help, Stubbles." Rachel merely smiled, causing Santana to roll her eyes.

"Just take a look at the song." Rachel said, shoving a piece of sheet music into Santana's hand before skipping off with Finnocene. Santana glanced down at the paper. She hadn't meant to read the words, really she just was going to throw it away, but something caught her eye. _Perhaps Man-Hands is on to something._ She thought, putting the sheet music into her bag instead of the trash.

A few days later, Mr. Schuester asked to see some of the solos. Unsurprisingly, Rachel's hand was first in the air, but Mr. Schuester called on a more surprising volunteer.

"Santana?" The Latina stood up, smoothing her Cheerios skirt before walking to the front of the room. She had already let the band know what song she would be singing, and they struck up the first chords at soon as she glared at them. Santana ignored Rachel's proud smile, and closed her eyes, starting to sing. She got through the first half of the song easily, singing loud and clear, hitting every note perfectly. She could tell that they were surprised, because really who would have ever thought Santana Lopez would _ever_ sing alone and be _good_? There were no problems until she got to the second half.

_I don't scream, though I know it's wrong, I just play along, I lie there and breathe, lie there and breathe,_ Santana sang. As the words came out of her mouth, she got the uncanny feeling of her father's hands, moving over her body. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to get rid of the feeling, but closing her eyes only made it worse.

_I wanna be strong, I want the world to find out, that you're dreamin' on me, me and my "beauty", me and my "beauty",_ she continued to sing, but her voice began to tremble and she got that awful burning sensation in her eyes.

"I can't do this." She muttered, turning on her heel and storming out of the room. She wiped her eyes angrily with the back of her hand, ashamed that she had started to cry. She stalked down the hallway, ignoring the looks from stragglers who were still at school, bursting into the bathroom. She walked into the nearest empty stall and sank onto the closed toilet lid, leaning her head against the wall, closing her eyes.

She heard someone walk into the bathroom and she quickly wiped away the few tears that had fallen onto her cheeks, standing up and crossing her arms over her chest. She was fully prepared to glare at whoever it was that was about to open the stall door, but she almost broke down again when the door opened.

"Santana, why didn't you tell me?" Brittany asked softly, walking into the stall and wrapping her arms around her friend. Santana felt a moment's hesitation before relaxing into her best friend's arms, knowing there was no point in denying it. Brittany may have been slow, but she was perceptive. There was no use lying to her.

"I don't know, B." She said weakly, burying her face in her friend's shoulder. Brittany rubbed her back soothingly, kissing the top of her head.

"You should come with me, S. You can live in my house." She said brightly, smiling widely as if it was the obvious answer and she should have thought of it earlier. Santana looked at her friend, examining her face for any sign of insincerity. Honesty was written all over the blonde's face as she waited for her best friend's reply. Santana gave her a tear-filled smile, throwing her arms around her tightly.

"I love you, B."

"I love you too, S!" Brittany chirped, happy to see Santana somewhat feeling better. Santana smiled into her shoulder, her eyes closing with relief. It would end soon. She would no longer be afraid of the dark or her father.

"I really love you, Brittany." She mumbled, exhaling. "You're saving my life."

"I know, S. I really love you, too."


	6. Don't Do Sadness

"Rehearsal dismissed early." Mr. Schuester murmured after Brittany ran after Santana. It was quiet for a few seconds, and then everyone began mumbling to each other, getting up and getting ready to go. Artie sat in his chair, watching as Mike quickly jumped out of his chair, dashing down to Tina. Tina glanced over at Artie, and he gave her a small shrug and a sad smile. She smiled slightly, before nodding at Mike, letting him help her up and walk out of the classroom. Artie closed his eyes, exhaling before rolling over to where Mr. Schuester was standing, packing up his things.

"Mr. Schuester? Do you mind if I practice something in the auditorium?" Artie asked, looking up at his teacher. Mr. Schuester looked at him, nodding with a smile.

"Sure, Artie." Artie mumbled a thank you and wheeled himself into the auditorium, pulling some sheet music out of his bag and rolling over to the band, handing them some before moving to the middle of the stage, tapping out the rhythm of the song on his knee.

_Awful sweet to be a little butterfly, just winging over things, and nothing deep inside, nothing going, going wild in you, you know, you're slowing by the riverside or floating high and blue. Or maybe cool to be a little summer wind like once through everything and then away again. With the taste of dust in your mouth all day but no need to know like sadness, you just sail away, _Artie sang, his voice filling up the auditorium. The band played behind him, but he barely heard the music, completely focused on the words. He thought about Tina and how she had dumped him, and Mike and how he unknowingly was one of the reasons she had left Artie.

_Cause you know, I don't do sadness, not even a little bit. Just don't need it in my life, don't want any part of it. I don't do sadness, hey I've done my time, looking back on it all, then it blows my mind, I don't do sadness, so been there. Don't do sadness, just don't care, _he sang, shaking his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He didn't want to think about them anymore. Like the song said, he didn't do sadness. He was done caring. Tina was happy. He should be too.

"Artie?" He jumped, turning to look at the side door. Quinn stood there, leaning against the wall.

"Quinn. You startled me." He said, looking down at his lap, a bit embarrassed that she had caught him singing.

"What were you singing?" She asked, walking on the stage.

"Oh, just this song from the musical everyone's been doing. It's nothing, really." He said shyly, shrugging.

"I was just about to go, do you need a push?" Artie hesitated and then shook his head. Mike and Tina were probably still waiting outside for her mom. He really didn't want to deal with that at the moment. Quinn smiled slightly, noticing his hesitation. She pulled up a chair, sitting next to him.

"Remember how we used to play pirates at my house?" She asked, laughing quietly. "I thought about it the other day. You, me, Brittany and Mike Chang." Artie involuntarily made a face, a quick motion to show how he felt about Mike. Quinn noticed it, and felt bad for bringing it up. She reached for the sheet music, and he handed it to her, taking out another copy. She smiled thankfully, and then looked down at the music.

"There's a girl part." She commented, glancing up at Artie. He nodded, twisting his lips together in that way he did when he was nervous.

"You should sing it." He suggested, and she shook her head quickly.

"I don't think so."

"Go ahead. You're good." He encouraged her, smiling slightly. She bit her lip and looked at him. He nodded, as if telling her to do it. She inhaled, looking down at the paper.

_Spring and summer every other day, blue wind gets so sad, blowing through the thick corn, through the bales of hay, through the open books on the grass, spring and summer,_ Quinn sang quietly, almost shyly. She glanced at Artie nervously, and he smiled widely, nodding his head. She smiled slightly, looking back at the sheet music.

_Sure, when it's autumn, wind always wants to creep up and haunt you, whistling it's got you, with its heartache, with its sorrow, winter wind sings and it cries, spring and summer every other day, blue wind gets so pained, blowing through the thick corn, through the bales of hay, through the sudden drift of the rain, spring and summer, _Quinn continued to sing, gaining volume and letting her voice echo through the auditorium. She looked at Artie when the solo ended, smiling warmly and turning slightly so she was facing him. He looked at her, really looked at her for the first time in a long time. She was pretty, probably the prettiest girl in the school. But there was a sort of softness to her now, something that had warmed her face and her eyes that made her beautiful. It wasn't just the fact that she was physically attractive, but that she was finally comfortable enough with herself to be sweet. Artie blinked, and realized he had been staring. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. He didn't really need any more girl drama, not even for someone as pretty and sweet as Quinn. He was pretty sure if he even tried Puck would lock him in a port-a-potty faster than he could apologize.

"Actually, I should go." He said, looking down at his lap.

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you out?" She asked, wondering if she had done something wrong.

"I'm sure. Thanks, Quinn." He said, giving her a sad smile before turning, starting to wheel himself off the stage. Quinn stood up, biting her bottom lip as she watched him go. She slowly began walking towards the side door, knowing it would take her back into the hallway.

Artie wheeled himself to the choir room where he had left a few of his books. He put them in his bag and glanced down at the sheet music, noticing that there were more lyrics. He looked around, making sure he was alone before singing again.

_So maybe, I should be some kind of laundry line, hang their things on me, and I will swing 'em dry, you're just waving the sun, through the afternoon, and then see, they come to set you free, beneath the rising moon, _he sang, wheeling himself out of the choir room, his backpack in his lap. _Cause you know, I don't do sadness, not even a little bit, just don't need it in my life, don't want any part of it, I don't do sadness, hey I've done my time, looking back on it all, then it blows my mind, I don't do sadness, _he continued to sing as he wheeled out into the hallway, not realizing that there was still someone behind him.

Quinn stepped out into the hallway at the same time Artie did, and she heard him singing, his voice floating down the hallway. She glanced at the sheet music she was still holding, and realized there were more lyrics. She glanced up, and began quietly singing along.

_Spring and summer every other day, blue wind gets so lost, blowing through the thick corn, through the bales of hay, spring and summer every other day, blue wind gets so lost, blowing through the thick corn, through the bales of hay, through the wandering clouds of the dust, spring and summer,_ she sang, walking slowly, holding her books to her chest. When they both finished, Artie looked behind him, seeing Quinn. She gave him a sheepish smile, waving slightly. He gave her a closed lipped smiled, twisting his lips again before turning around and continuing to wheel himself towards the door. Quinn sighed, walking quietly behind him.

"Bye, Artie." She said as she passed him, giving him a small smile before walking to her car. He could have called after her, asked her to wait with him again, but he didn't. He just nodded, sitting near a bench and waiting for his dad, his hands in his lap, alone again.


	7. Whispering

Despite the fact that rehearsal had ended early, Mr. Schuester still wanted everyone to have a solo prepared. Quinn had put the sheet music from Artie on her desk, and the next night, she took another look at it. The name of the musical was printed across the top in neat, block letters. Spring Awakening. Quinn held the music in her hand and took a seat, quickly powering up her computer. With a few quick clicks of her mouse, she was looking up the musical on the Internet. Minutes later, she had found the sheet music for another song from the musical. She had read the lyrics several times over and printed it out. This was her solo. She had found it.

The next morning she got to school early. She held her books close to her chest, her sheet music safely tucked into one of them. She went to the band room and found the kids who played for the Glee club. She handed them a copy of the sheet music, letting them know that she would need them later on during rehearsal. They seemed a bit wary of her, because this time last year she had been sending them death glares just for existing, but they mumbled a "Sure" and nodded meekly. She thanked them politely and left, humming a few bars under her breath.

During lunch, she finished her small amount of food quickly, excusing herself from the table. Santana and Brittany merely exchanged a look and shrugged, but Mercedes lightly grabbed her wrist, looking at her with confusion. Quinn gave her a reassuring smile, and Mercedes nodded, letting her go. Quinn moved to the choir room, glancing in to make sure it was empty.

"Quinn? Is there something I can help you with?" She turned around, shaking her head.

"No, I'm good, Mr. Schuester. I was just going to practice, if that's alright with you."

"Sure. I'll be in Miss Pillsbury's office if you need me." He said, giving her a small wave before walking away, leaving her alone. Quinn took a deep breath and walked inside the choir room, putting her books on a chair. She took the sheet music and closed the door halfway, not wanting anyone to walk in on her. She didn't want anyone to see her performance before she was ready to show it.

_Whispering, hear the ghosts in the moonlight, sorrow doing a new dance, through their bone, through their skin, _she started, her quiet voice barely floating through the room. She glanced over her shoulder at the door, and when she was certain that no one was coming, she relaxed slightly.

_Listening, to the souls in the fool's night, fumbling mutely with their rude hands, and there's heartache without end, _Quinn sang, closing her eyes. Every time she had read these lyrics, she had a mental image of that night with Puck. It had been clumsy and unsmooth, and had left her with the worst feeling. She had cheated on Finn with his best friend, and like the song said, had left everyone involved with heartache.

_See the father bent in grief, the mother dressed in mourning, sister crumbles, and the neighbors grumble, the preacher issues warnings,_ she continued, her voice gaining volume. Images of her father and mother when Finn told them about the baby floated behind her eyelids, her father's rage and her mother's disappointment twisting Quinn's stomach. She knew they had told her sister, and her sister hadn't spoken to her since. When she had left her house, she had seen the neighbors outside, watching her as if they had heard every word of what had just happened. Even her preacher heard about it, and Quinn had given up on church after several pointed glances during sermons.

_History, little miss didn't do right, went and ruined all the true plans, such a shame, such a sin, _Quinn sang, completely forgetting where she was. She felt the anger for her father's abandonment of her rush through her, and she sang the line almost sarcastically, as if she was mocking him. _Mystery, home alone on a school night, harvest moon over the blue land, summer longing on the wind,_ she continued, letting her hands wrap around her stomach.

_Had a sweetheart on his knees, so faithful and adoring, and he touched me, and I let him love me, so let that be my story,_ she sang, a slight smile playing at the edges of her lips. Puck floated through her mind. Despite his usual tough exterior, Quinn had seen a softer side of him once, at the hospital. Having Beth may have done some serious damage to her life, but she had brought Quinn so many blessings as well. Like Puck.

_Listening, for the hope, for the new life, something beautiful, a new chance, hear its whispering, there again,_ she smiled slightly wider as she sang, thinking about Beth. There had been many times where Quinn had wondered if giving her up was the right thing to do, but deep down Quinn knew she had done the little girl a huge favor. Despite her mother supporting her again, Quinn was still a teenager who wasn't ready to take care of another person yet. Beth would be happy wherever she was, in a loving home with parents that would love her.

Quinn opened her eyes slowly, a content smile playing at her lips. She made a mental note to thank Artie later for showing her the musical, because this song was beautiful, and perfect. She moved forward and began grabbing her books, not noticing the person standing in the doorway.

Mr. Schuester smiled slightly, glad that he hadn't disturbed Quinn. He had turned around to get some of his things, but when he heard her singing, he stopped. After listening to her sing, he smiled and turned around; walking towards Ms. Pillsbury's office, trying to figure out how he would tell Rachel that Quinn would probably get the solo.


	8. Those You've Known

"We have seen several amazing performances this week. I'm extremely proud of all of you. I've taken the liberty of looking up the musical you all seemed to like so much, and I happened to find a song that I kind of liked. I want you to take a second to look it over." Mr. Schuester said, passing out sheet music to everyone.

"If you'll come with me, I'll show you the choreography." He said with a glint in his eye. After a few glances to each other, the Glee club stood up, following Mr. Schuester towards the auditorium. After he taught them what he wanted, he took his seat in the audience, sitting behind his little table. He nodded at Brad, who began playing the opening notes. Mr. Schuester leaned back in his chair, ready to watch.

The stage was completely dark, but after the intro music ended, a stage light came up on the right side of the stage, a small circle of light illuminating Artie.

_Those you've known, and lost, still walk behind you,_ he sang, his simple black and white clothes not drawing any attention away from his voice.

Another stage light, right on cue, lit up Puck, on the opposite side of the stage. _All alone, they linger till they find you, _he sang, looking straight ahead.

_Without them, the world grows dark around you, _Kurt sang, his stage light coming up from the center right of the stage.

Finally, the last small stage light came on, lighting up Finn on center left. _And nothing is the same until you know that they have found you_, he sang. The band began playing their music, and the rest of the stage lights came on, filling the stage with light, showing the other kids standing behind the four boys. Rachel stepped forward, standing between Finn and Kurt.

_Those you've pained, may carry that still with them, _Rachel sang. Tina glanced at Artie, who kept staring ahead, pretending not to notice. He glanced at his hands, wanting to turn around and look at her but knowing he couldn't.

_All the same, they whisper: "All forgiven", _Quinn sang, stepping between Finn and Puck. She glanced up at Finn, who gave her a small smile and a slight nod. She smiled back, turning until she was facing forward again.

_Still your heart says, the shadows bring the starlight,_ Tina sang, stepping between Kurt and Artie. She tried once more to catch his eye, but he continued to look forward. At the same time, both of them felt the same pain in their chests, right where their hearts were.

_And everything you've ever been is still there in the dark night_, Santana sang, stepping up to her spot next to Puck. She gave a quick glance over her shoulder to look at Brittany, who smiled warmly at her best friend. Reassured, Santana turned and faced the front, a smile tugging at the edges of her lips.

The boys all stepped back, merging with the other boys who had been standing behind them. The few girls who had been behind stepped forward, taking their places next to the other girls.

_Though you know, you've left them far behind, you walk on by yourself, and not with them, still you know, they will fill your heart and mind, when they say there's a way through this,_ the boys sang, lining up behind the girls, diagonal from their partners.

_When the northern wind blows, the sorrows your heart holds, there are those who still know, they're still home, we're still home, _the girls sang in counterpart, turning around to face their partners.

_Those you've known, and lost, still walk behind you, all alone, their song still seems to find you, _they all sang together. The girls reached for their partner's hand, walking in a slow circle. Mr. Schuester watched the pairs, smiling slightly. There was Finn and Rachel, Brittany and Matt and Mercedes and Kurt, all of which were unsurprising. There was Santana and Puck, which made Mr. Schuester look for Quinn. She was at the end of the line, turning with Artie. Mr. Schuester cocked his head, and looked one pair over, where Tina and Mike were spinning. _That explains it._ He thought to himself, not really surprised that Quinn had offered to help Artie out by giving him a partner.

_They call you, as if you knew their longing, they whistle through the lonely wind, the long blue shadows falling_,they sang, stopping their spinning and lining up next to each other, causing a straight line across the stage of black and white clothing and beautiful voices. The lights dimmed, leaving a light on Finn.

_All alone, but still I hear their yearning, _he sang alone, reaching down and squeezing Rachel's hand in the dark.

_Through the dark, the moon, alone there, burning, _Puck sang from his end of the line, a light coming up on him again. He glanced down the line at Quinn, who looked over at him and smiled softly, warmly.

_The stars too, they tell of spring returning, _Artie sang, a light shining down on him. He too glanced up at Quinn, who smiled down at him, their unusual friendship sealed in that moment.

_And summer with another wind that no one yet has known,_ Kurt sang from the middle line, looking over at Mercedes. She gave him a warm grin, and he smiled, their fingers brushing against each others in the dark.

_They call me, through all things, night's falling, but somehow I go on, _Finn sang, once again singing alone. _You watch me, just watch me, I'm calling, from longing._

_When the northern wind blows, the sorrows your heart's known, I believe, _Rachel began singing in counterpart, smiling up at Finn.

_Still you know, there's so much more to find, another dream, another love you'll hold, _Artie sang in counterpart to Finn and Rachel, his hands in his lap. He quickly glanced over at Tina, and saw that Mike had taken her hand into his. He looked back forward, feeling almost lonely.__

Still you know, to trust your own true mind, on your way – you are not alone, _there are those who still know,_ Puck sang, glancing down at Santana with a slightly amused smile. She smiled back at him, both of them knowing that they would be just friends from now on, and both of them were okay with that.

_Now they'll walk on my arm through the distant night, and I won't let them stray from my heart, through the wind, through the dark, through the winter light, I will read all their dreams to the stars,_ Finn sang, solo again. Slowly, the pairs at the end turned and walked towards the back of the stage, their lights dimming out. Santana, Puck, Artie and Quinn stood in a line in the back, singing _ooh_ quietly.

_I'll walk now with them, I'll call on their names, I'll see their thoughts are known,_ Finn continued to sing alone, and Brittany, Matt, Tina and Mike turned and walked to the back, their lights turning off.

_Not gone, not gone, _Rachel sang before turning with Mercedes and Kurt, joining the others in the dark, leaving Finn alone on stage with a spotlight on him.

_They walk with my heart, and I'll never let them go, I'll never let them go, I'll never let them go, you watch me, just watch me, I'm calling, I'm calling, and one day all will know,_ Finn finished, his light staying on, the only source of light on the otherwise dark stage.

Mr. Schuster grinned, standing up and clapping. "Really great, guys." He said, loud enough for them to hear him. The stage lights came up, allowing Schue to see them all.

"Was it a ten?" Rachel asked, and Mr. Schuester chuckled.

"Definitely a ten, Rachel."


End file.
